i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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