How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize