I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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