The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
