I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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