Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This can only be settled by a dance off.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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