If that was your dad, he is hot
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Less talking, more tequila
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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