and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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