He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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