Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
