So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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