I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
