you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
please don't ironically join a cult
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