Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
