What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
