do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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