I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize