How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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