this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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