Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
