No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
