is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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