i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
