thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
