Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
