Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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