I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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