There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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