ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we're making bets on your personal life
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
