evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Congratulations! We have a period
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