I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Randomize
