hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize