you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize