apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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