her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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