Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
if only i could text you this smell
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize