Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize