her vagine was all disorganized.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
