I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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