paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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