well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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