it was like having sex with a tree stump
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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