8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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