I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
