end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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