i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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