Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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