So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
