i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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