Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
