Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Randomize
