He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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