Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize