I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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