its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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